A Refuge from the Storm's Front

Since my last posting the storms of life have rolled in leaving only glances of sunlight and the stars as the clouds of one storm faded into another. But the sun still shines above the masses of darkened clouds and the candle-light still warms and brightens the internal refuges. Today I was re-introduced to my personal refuge. Music.

Music has always been and currently is very important in my daily life. I am currently in Women's Chorus and have begun to dabble in composing hoping to find a new form of self-expression...we will have to see how that turns out... however I don't think that I have ever been more grateful for a daily choir rehearsal than I was today AND we even had a performance this morning. After our performance I had been told by our choir assistant, director, family members and friends that our performance was "beautiful".... Mom even said it was sounded "luscious" and our dear director expressed to us how extremely wonderfully we were. To be honest, it nearly made me cry which is kind of awkward while singing. The success of our performance set the whole day to be a little bit better. The lyrics are timeless and well known. Here they are and if you already know them, read them again. They have power that cannot be held only in the words but in the spirit:

Amazing grace how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch, a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now am found

I once was blind, but now I see.

T'was grace that taught my heart to fear

And that same grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear

The hour when, I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares

I have already safely come.

This grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And surely grace will lead me home.

When we've been there ten thousand years

Bright shining as the glorious sun.

We've no less days to sing God's praise

Than since the day we first begun.

It was such a great way to start a day and rehearsal made it better. Sometimes we incorporate physical activity into warm-ups and sometimes there are mental activities. Today we closed our eyes and imagined a wonderful, magical place to share our music. That is our rehearsal. We were asked to leave our burdens and sufferings outside of our new magical place where we could find them later and address them in another time and location. Rehearsal literally became a place of refuge and we, the performers, became the sorcerers of this great magic. Music is a form of magic. It expresses what cannot be expressed through words. Music is the physical form of all emotions... joy, sorrow, exultation, love, fear, delight, woe, melancholy, or hilarity (etc.) Music brings the ability to create something out of silence. It opens the unknown and new and has the power to change lives. I believe music can save the world from the terrors and sorrows that besiege it. Music can be healing and today I found some of that healing.

I've always wanted to wield a form of magic. I guess I never realized that I already am apprenticed as a sorcerer in training....

"Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent"

- Victor Hugo

Pursuing Happiness

I have come to the decision that I will do something that I told myself that I would not do --- create a blog. Never say never, right? Therefore, I welcome all and any readers to my personal musings, contemplations, disclosed thoughts, and insights. This may become the way that I record how I spend my time and tell the world the things that I cannot express through coherent verbal means. Well here it is, the unveiling of how I view life. At slight personal risk and with a strange motivation I will attempt share my perspective and accomplish something I have not tried before.

I'd like to explain the title of my newly created blog. Often the phrase "happily ever after" is tossed about explaining what people perceive others' lives to be. Inside fairy stories and magical tales this seems to be the norm, but since I haven't found my fairy story I will live after the manner of happiness. I can only recall one truly perfect day (that was when I was eight years old) but each day can and does have something happy that can be recognized. Whether it is the birds singing in the trees as I walk down the street or a planned afternoon with friends, they are happy things that fill my life. I believe that when people search for happiness they will find it; much like the glad game in Polyanna. As I search for my happily ever after I want a record of the happily nows that exist. This is that record. There will probably be a number of postings that will not always seem happy at first but they will be important to who I am and what I wish to share. The glass is always full of something; it all depends on the perspective.

Consider yourself prepared (or warned).